


Making sure

by Thrymr



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Movie Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thrymr/pseuds/Thrymr
Summary: Tony is just making sure Clay is okay. In every possible way. Clay also has to make sure of some things.





	1. Pre-Movie Night

Tony knew he couldn’t be there every second of the day. But he really wanted to. He wanted to look out for him. Even though the whole mess left behind by Hannah with the tapes was a thing of the past, Tony still worried a lot about Clay. He was slightly getting better but Tony could see in his eyes that some things were still hard for him. 

He knew Clay loved Hannah. He couldn’t imagine how it would feel to lose someone you loved so much. Sometimes when he thought about it all he became scared. Scared that Clay would do something stupid and that Tony would be too late. Too late to save him. Too late to tell him what he really meant to him. But even though he saw that waiting isn’t always the best - especially when you’re talking about feelings - he couldn’t bring himself to tell Clay. Tony had to stop himself imagining scenarios where Clay would hurt himself because it hurt Tony too much. Thoughts of losing Clay were unbearable for him. But still they lingered. 

Tony made a secret pact with himself. He would be Clay’s watchdog. Be there for him at all times. Just to make sure, Clay wouldn’t jump off the cliff, did stupid things or would hurt himself after another terrified nightmare about Hannah’s death. He knew about the nightmares because he had them himself. And on especially bad nights he would get texts from Clay.

_Just checking if you’re still awake. Spanish homework’s killing me. Need your help sometime. C_

_Did you watch that episode tonight? Badass. C_

_New album you gave me is making me losing sleep. So good. C_

Tony knew these messages were code for „Had a bad dream. Please talk to me.“ Clay would never tell him in person about what he dreamt. It was too embarrassing for him to admit he still had nightmares. So Tony would always answer the texts right away. Even if he was asleep. He would never miss a late night text from Clay. Sometimes he wished he could just be there and hold him tight. Talk to him right there. Making sure he was okay.

That is why Tony established the weekly movie night. At least one night where he could make sure Clay was alright. They would meet at Tony’s or sometimes at Clay’s house and watch two or three movies together. This would always take Clay’s mind off of things. In that nights Tony wouldn’t get a late night text.

It was Friday again. Tony and Clay had moved the movie night to Fridays because they would get longer and longer and they were tired the next day. They figured, moving them to Friday would be the better solution. Neither of them had better things to do anyway. Clay wouldn’t go to any parties after what happened. He just wasn’t feeling like it. Not yet. And Tony… well, he and Brad broke up after a while. Tony could understand him completely. He was always checking on Clay rather than Brad. It hurt him, yes, but he knew it was better. He didn’t want to make Brad sad or break his heart when he would find out, what he was feeling for Clay. Although, he possibly knew already.

Tony was waiting at Clay’s locker to talk to him. Every Friday he would pick him up to drive to his house and watch some movies. After the marathon Tony would drive Clay back home. That was their routine. What also never changed was Tony’s tingling in his stomach. The nervousness he got when Clay sat beside him on the couch. It just got stronger. Clay was walking towards Tony in the hall and Tony had to redirect his thoughts.

„Hey man. Ready for tonight?“ he asked nonchalantly. At least he tried.

„Sure.“ Clay seemed tired but he smiled at Tony. It wasn’t a forced smile but a genuine one. 

„I’ll pick you up at seven. We can order pizza again if you want. I have coupon.“ Tony tried to read Clay’s wishes off from his eyes. He looked at Clay, at his eyes, he couldn’t help himself. Clay just nodded and then the bell rang. 

„See ya tonight, buddy.“ Clay said over his shoulder, already walking to the next class. Tony just stood there at Clay’s locker, lost in his thoughts about Clay’s beautiful but tired eyes. 

„I can’t wait!“ Clay exclaimed before stepping into the classroom. Tony had to restrict himself of smiling like an idiot. He did though. In his car on the way home.

He _loved_ movie night.


	2. Clay's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay's thoughts about the whole thing

After school Clay took his bike and went home. For a few weeks now he needed more time than usual. Clay found himself driving through town, resting at places where he could think without other people interfering. He didn’t go to the cliff though because the first few times he went, Tony showed up with a really concerned look upon his face. He didn’t want to be a reliability for Tony, so he stopped going to the cliff. He somehow knew that Tony was watching over him like a guardian angel. But it didn’t bother him. He kind of liked the feeling that at least someone was concerned about him enough. 

Clay had more time to spend now. He couldn’t work at the Crestmont after Hannah died. Therefore he was really thankful for the weekly movie night with Tony. He missed the movies. But going to the cinema was too hard for him. Everywhere he looked he saw her working there. Instead he almost immediately said yes to Tony’s proposal to watch movies every week. It was like he just waited for Tony to say it. Like always, Tony knew exactly what Clay needed.

After Hannah and the tapes, Clay thought about people and their actions very differently than before. He tried to be a better person - for her. He was always nice to other kids at school and if he got angry or annoyed he would just go away, take his bike and go for a ride to calm down. Better than saying things you’ll regret. Not that he had much social contacts these days. But he managed. The one person who was always there was Tony. But he never got angry at Tony. 

He knew about Brad and Tony soon after Tony told him that he was gay. Brad always seemed jealous whenever Clay would spend time with Tony. But Tony never stopped. One time Clay saw Tony and Brad fighting at Monet’s. He just wanted to grab a drink and go for a walk but before he could enter the café he saw them inside. He just watched for a minute but as soon as Brad said something like „You always hang out with Clay and I don’t want you to. You almost never hang out with me anymore!“ and Tony’s only response was „I need to be with him now.“, Clay was gone. He couldn’t really bare to be the reason why they fought. The reason why Tony was unhappy. And so for the next week he wouldn’t let Tony stay with him. He wouldn’t return his calls or texts and just biked around town. Alone. That’s when Tony followed him everywhere, just not in plain sight, but Clay knew. He _felt_ it.

After this very painful and lonely week Tony showed up at his house and asked him if he wanted to watch a movie. It was Tuesday and Clay wasn’t really sure what was going on. He wanted to shout yes but restricted himself.

„What about Brad?“ Clay had asked.

Tony looked into Clay’s eyes, his lips trembled. He took a deep breath and looked at their feet.

„There is no Brad anymore…“ he almost whispered. When he looked back up Clay could see tears in his eyes.

Clay wouldn’t know how to react, what do to. He wasn’t sure what was appropriate. Clay knew he was one of the factors that made them break up. Was it better to stay away? Tony looked as if he came right after the break up to his house. Clay knew: he didn’t want to be alone right now.

„Which movie do you wanna watch?“ He just said and Tony gave him a faint smile. That’s when movie night started.

_

Clay knew he liked Tony a lot. He just couldn’t bring himself to really think about what he was feeling when they were together. There was still so many other things Clay had to think about. Especially his nightmares. Every night when he was lying in bed, he saw Hannah. She was standing right in the corner of his room. She was there every night. She was wearing the dress of the winter formal. And every night, she just watched him. Sometimes she smiled. Sometimes her arms were full of blood. Clay wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or imagining her. He couldn’t sleep. He never knew if he slept at all. He appearance was like in a horror movie. But he wasn’t afraid of her. He just watched her like she watched him. And he thought about everything. When he couldn’t bear it anymore he tried to shift his mind to other things. That was usually when he texted Tony. Tony would always answer, no matter what. Clay concentrated so hard on the texts and Tony that Hannah would disappear.

Clay felt tired. Hannah appeared every night in his room. After a movie night with Tony she didn’t, though. Clay wished every night could be a movie night. Tony managed to get Clay’s mind off of things. Clear his head, even for a little bit. And after the movie Clay was so sleepy that he didn’t think of anything when he was going to bed. He liked that. But Hannah would always come back the next day. He couldn’t get rid of her.

It’s not like he wanted to get rid of her completely. Sure it was creepy but his heart was so full of love for her, that even seeing her standing there like a ghost made his heart jump in little circles. Sometimes he thought, she was there because he missed her so much, loved her so fucking much, that she somehow knew and came back for him. When he would stand up to touch her (because he really wanted to feel her. Or anyone for that matter), she would be gone and he would be waking up, sweat all over him. Then he would text Tony.

—

Clay had just showered and put on fresh clothes as he heard the familiar red mustang drive up the road and parking in front of his house. Last minute he put on some cologne and looked at himself in the mirror. He stomach did some jumping exercises. Clay didn’t knew why he was this nervous and excited at the same time. The Friday movie night was a regular thing now. But every week he was almost giddy before Tony picked him up. He enjoyed staying at Tony’s so much and he was excited to sleep through the night. Friday was his favourite day of the week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the second chapter. I know, I'm not that fast in progressing with the plot, but please bear with me! 
> 
> Also: I love your critique and please point out any mistakes! English is not my first language. 
> 
> More fluff to come.


	3. Ghost of the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay's and Tony's movie night has an unexpected turn.

They were so used to movie night by now that Clay didn’t need any permission to do something around Tony’s house. He took a bowl out of the kitchen and put some chips in it. Tony was fumbling with the TV as always. The sat down on the couch and watched a movie. And then another one. And another one. They were comfortable. They were used to it. They felt both calm in each others presence. 

Clay was so tired and so happy to be finally here that he soon dozed off during the third movie. He was always sleepy in the end but he would never let himself sleep on the couch in Tony’s house. He felt too vulnerable for that. Even though his own bed didn’t give him the comfort and rest he needed. 

Tony got up and got a blanket for them to snuggle under. He saw how tired Clay was. As soon as he left him earlier in school he knew he wanted to give Clay what he so desperately needed: Sleep. Clay just smiled sleepily at him as he thankfully snuggled under the (surprisingly soft) blanket. The blanket wasn’t that large, so they had to move closer together. Soon after, Tony was really tired himself. His eyes couldn’t stay open. Suddenly he felt Clay right beside him who snuggled closer to him, already almost asleep. The sudden touch and warmth of Clay’s body made him aware that they were both alone in his house. His skin tingled and the butterflies in his stomach threw a party. He felt nervous but sleepy. He concentrated on Clay. His breathing was steady and slow. Sometimes he would move just to adjust his position. Tony felt Clay’s head on his shoulder.

Tony dozed off as well and couldn’t think straight. His head dropped down on Clay’s head, his nose nuzzling through Clay’s hair. All Tony could think was how good his hair smelled and that he must have washed it before he came over. Clay moved again and so did Tony. The adjusted a little, Clay’s head went up against the headrest of the couch, his body turning to Tony. While Tony shifted his body to Clay’s. Tony scooted over and his face landed on Clay’s neck. He smelled so delicious. And he was warm, so very warm. Tony never wanted to move again. His hands had minds on their own. They travelled on to Clay’s side and one caressed Clay’s hair. Tony felt Clay’s hands on his back and his hips.

„You smell so fucking good.“ Tony mumbled, almost not hearable.

Clay wasn’t awake, not fully yet, he just sighed and moaned a bit. Tony couldn’t help himself, his body not reacting to anything he wanted him to, mind on his own. He kissed Clay’s neck with soft and small kisses. Almost not recognizable. He was so tired but it felt so good.

They shifted again and their foreheads were now together. Hands still on each others sides. Tony’s hand lingered in Clay’s head. He wanted him to sleep, wanted himself to be asleep. He opened his eyes a bit, had to force himself. He saw Clay right in front of him, so near, nearer than before. And before he could do anything else, his lips were on Clay’s. Just for one second. It was unaware and sloppy and not even a real kiss. Tony’s lips just brushed over Clay’s for a brief moment. Then they shifted again and Clay found his place on Tony’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around him and settled. Tony felt more comfortable than ever and drove off to sleep.

 

—

 

Clay woke up in the middle of the night. He almost didn’t want to move because he felt so good in Tony’s presence. It was dark in the living room. The only light came from the TV which was playing the DVD’s main menu over and over in a loop. He looked up at Tony who was asleep. His breathing was soft. Clay’s heart jumped as he watched Tony sleep. He was so thankful for his best friend. So grateful to have him in his life. But what he felt right now was much more than this. He felt such a deep connection to his best friend. And as he watched him sleep there on the couch he thought to himself how peaceful and beautiful Tony looked. His hair was a bit messy, probably from turning a bit while sleeping. Clay loved Tony’s hair. He was extremely jealous of his beautiful hair, thick and black and just so gorgeous. He almost wanted to touch it, to feel it beneath his fingers. He wondered what it would be like to stroke Tony’s hair, to bury his fingers in his hair, so smell his hair. Then Clay’s eyes met Tony’s lips. And this time he took his time to really look at them. He had just beautiful lips. And here as well, he thought about touching them. A faint thought came up in his mind. A shallow feeling of Tony’s lips on his. Did he dream about that? He blushed, although nobody was there to see it and even if there was somebody it would be too dark.

He just thought about kissing Tony. What was wrong with him? He was his best friend. And maybe he was the reason that Tony and Brad broke up. Even though Tony never mentioned it. Clay tried to forget what he just thought. He couldn’t. He wasn’t gay. He loved Hannah.

And as soon as he thought about her, he saw something in the corner of his eye. Hannah was standing in the living room. He watched him and Tony. Clay looked her straight in the eyes and stood up.

„Hannah…“ he whispered so he wouldn’t wake up Tony.

„… You know I love you!“ Hannah just smiled and looked to Tony. Clay followed suit. As he looked back she just nodded.

Clay couldn’t help himself, a tear fought his way down his cheek. Hannah vanished, still smiling. Clay’s heart pounded louder than ever before. Did Hannah just make sure Clay was okay? Did Hannah hear him? Did she know? Clay began to cry and fell on his knees in the middle of the living room.

The sound of Clay falling woke up Tony. 

„Clay? Where…“ he sounded sleepy. But as soon as he saw Clay on the floor he stood up.

„Clay! Are you okay?“ He heard Clay crying.

„Hannah…“ Clay managed to say and Tony’s heart almost broke. He scooted over to Clay and hugged him from behind.

„What happened?“ Tony asked him softly as he rocked them both to calm Clay down.

„I saw her. I see her every night. But I just talked to her for the first time and I think she knew.“ Clay talked slow and between sobs.

„Oh Clay…“ Tony had to swallow his own tears. He knew that was the reason the late night texts were coming. He couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been to see the person you love every night in your room even though you know they are dead. Tony just hold Clay tighter in his arms.

After some minutes Clay calmed down and his breath was steadier.

„I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Tony. I really am. Please don’t ever leave me. Please stay with me.“ Clay whispered, still in Tony’s embrace.

„Always, Clay. Always.“

He meant it. More than Clay would know. Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, they're not quite there yet. But soon, I'll promise.


	4. The dream

They didn’t talk much after that night. Tony wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to give Clay enough room to cope with whatever the hell was happening to him. He couldn’t imagine his pain about Hannah. Well, he could, if he imagined Clay being… no! It hurt him just to think about it. The night at the cliff was the reason for Tony’s nightmares. He dreamt about Clay jumping off and being gone and… he couldn’t. He didn’t want to. Never. He would protect Clay. He couldn’t live without Clay being there, being happy, breathing.

„Are you… okay?“ Tony asked as Clay climbed out of the car at his house. „You know, if you don’t want to be alone I can come with you. We could spend some time…“ Tony wasn’t sure if Clay could be left alone but he wanted to give him the choice.

Clay smiled tired at him. „Tony…“ He drifted of for a moment and snapped back at reality real quick. What was going through his mind?

„I’m okay. For now. Thank you for this night. Next week again?“ He asked and Tony was relieved that he didn’t want him to stop the movie nights.

„Sure.“

They smiled at each other. Giving Tony butterflies in his stomach. He drove off and couldn’t think about anything else except Clay’s lips at his… he has been so close. He wished himself back at this moment. I wished them both to be awake and… He imagined a lot of different things for the next few days.

___

Clay was anxious to get to bed. He feared to see Hannah again. But the last visit from her seemed kind of final to him. His outburst was the first ever. He never had such a reaction. And Hannah didn’t smile before. The whole thing was different. Especially that she visited him at Tony’s place.

Clay was laying in his bed and flicked off the lights. His heart trembled. He stared at the corner of his room. Would she come?

He waited for a long time and didn’t even noticed when he fell asleep.

_He was sitting next to Tony at his couch. They were watching a movie. He felt something warm on his hand and as he looked down, he saw Tony’s hand entwined with his. It felt good. He liked it very much. His thumb brushed over the darker skin of his friend and he looked at Tony. Tony turned as he felt the caressing and smiled fondly at him. As they looked at each other Clay felt something deep inside his stomach and heart. He felt love. As Tony smiled at him the feeling grew a lot stronger. And then Tony leaned in and brushed his lips against Clay’s. Clay thought it had to feel weird but he knew that feeling. Tony’s soft lips against his own. The soft and warm kiss. He never wanted it to end._

Clay woke up the next day with a weird feeling. Did he really dream what he thought he had dreamt? As he thought of Tony the warm feeling in his stomach came back. Just the same as in his dream. But he really felt it. And then the realization came: Hannah didn’t show up. He slept through the night and had a _good_ dream. Was it good? He had to think about it…

___

The next movie night arrived and Tony was a little bit scared. Clay didn’t talk to him as much the past week and Tony was scared that he remembered the slight kiss they shared. But Clay never turned down the invitation so Tony was really confused.

The sat beside each other on the couch and watched some random movie. Tony was trying to concentrate when he felt Clay’s hand on his own. He looked down and thought Clay just had misplaced his hand and would retract it soon. But he didn’t. He deliberately let his hand lay on top of Tony’s. Tony didn’t dare to move. After a while Clay sighed and shifted a bit but didn’t retract his hand. He changed the position though, creeping under Tony’s hand and holding it.

„Clay…“

„Shh! I want to see the movie.“

Tony wanted to say something. He wasn’t sure what was going on but the warmth of Clay’s hand in his own spread through his whole body. Did he just want to be near somebody after what happened last time? Or did he remember the kiss? He didn’t dare to look at Clay, didn’t want to spoil this beautiful situation. It could be the only time he could touch Clay in this soft way. The images of their sleepy kiss crept into his mind and he blushed, his heart rate gone up a bit. He hoped Clay wouldn’t notice his changing behaviour.

The movie ended and Clay didn’t think of letting go. They sat there for a while until Tony really needed to move.

„As much as I really like this, I’m gonna need my hand sometime…“

„But I like touching your hand…“ 

Clay almost whispered. Tony looked at him. Clay was blushing and Tony thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his life. And he saw a lot of cute puppies. His heart melted a bit as Clay turned and looked at him with his puppy dog eyes and a kind of frightened look. As if he did something wrong. The butterflies in his stomach partied around.

„Clay…“ he began but Clay interrupted him.

„I hope this is okay. I know what you’ve been through but I really like touching you and I would really like to touch you again and I think I like this very much and I had a dream about us and it felt so good so I had to try it and then I thought about this and us and then I remembered that night I last saw Hannah and somehow it was a goodbye because she saw that you will make me happy and I really feel happy with you right now touching your hand and I remember the kiss although I thought I dreamt it oh please tell me I didn’t dream it because that would be embarrassing…“

Tony had to laugh because Clay was so cute rambling about and not looking at him and blushing. He took his free hand and put a finger on Clay’s lips to shut him up. He felt Clay’s breath on his finger and shivered slightly because the feeling was really turning him on but this was not the time for that. Clay was silent and looking at him. Tony smiled a soft smile.

„You didn’t dream it. And I really want to make you happy. You deserve it. And Clay?“

Clay just looked at him with a puzzled expression.

„You are so fucking cute when you’re rambling. I would like you to touch me.“

He replaced his finger on Clay’s lips with his own and their shared a soft kiss. 

„Wow. This felt so much better than in my dream…“ Clay whispered after they separated. Tony just smiled and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of this little story. I'm sorry that it came so late but I was in London for a week and didn't got to do it beforehand. I hope you like the ending! Please tell me if you do!
> 
> I'm working on a little other project right now (involving another pairing from another show) but I have ideas for some more Clony. If you're interested!
> 
> Thank you for reading and giving kudos and commenting. It means the world to me! <3

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter of my first fanfic in years! (And I mean years. It's been 11 years, holy shit)


End file.
